5 Ways to Avoid Fighting with the "Sweetie"

5 ways to not be a jerk during your next fight

If you've been fighting with your sweetie lately, here are some "high-integrity" methods for conflict resolution:

1. Pick the right time and the right place.
Do you have at least 30 minutes of uninterrupted time? Can you talk openly, not self-consciously? In general, the best place to talk is alone in your home, where you can sit facing each other, with good, strong eye contact.

2. Avoid harsh start-ups.
Gottman says he can predict 96 percent of the time how a conversation will end based on its first three minutes.
Do not start out blaming or calling your partner bad names. Your partner will spend more time defending himself than attending to your needs and feelings.
Try beginning with a compliment about what you appreciate about your partner.
Also, include a reminder about how you really want to work on your relationship, so it succeeds and you both can grow together. Begin by calmly explaining how the conflict affects you -- your feelings, values, dreams and goals. Recognize that eventually most fights do not stay about the fight's topic, but rather the "way" people choose to fight.

3. Instead of trying to win arguments, try to have a winning relationship!
How? Try talking in "I" sentences instead of "you" sentences -- speak more about how you feel. (And "I feel you are a jerk!" is not an example of an "I" statement!)
Your goal is to get your partner to empathize, so forget about details and facts.
Keep staying with your feelings, values, dreams and goals. From this place of empathy, your partner will better hear you and, therefore, want to find a way to take care of your needs and feelings.
If the conversation escalates, be sure to tell your partner that you recognize your truth is not necessarily the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Be ready to be convinced out of your anger and misery. As Stephen Covey brilliantly stated in his fabulous book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People," "Seek first to understand -- then to be understood!"

4. Put in the "virtue of discipline" to calm yourself before you begin talking.
Although studies show that yelling is better than stonewalling, yelling has its share of problems. When people yell, they get themselves even angrier. Interesting factoid: If you and/or your partner's heartbeat gets higher than 100 beats per minute during an argument, you will not be able to fully understand or process what the other person is saying.
When you're angry, your brain's processing becomes blocked, and it's literally more difficult to solve problems and express yourself clearly. Plus -- duh -- you're more likely to foolishly inflame the situation with insults and petty meanness. As Marcus Aurelius said, "How much more grievous are the consequences of anger, than the causes of it?"

5. Close a difficult conversation by sharing memories of good times and/or your partner's good qualities.
Jump-start loving memories, and defuse bad ones. If it's been a while since you've felt that lusty feeling, you can jump-start this phase anew by going back to those first few romantic courtship places. Chances are you'll experience déjà romance all over again.


Got this from Oprah.com - yes sir

Pacquiao Wins !!!!

Wow oh Wow oh WOW !!!! To all the boxing fans out there, did you think this was going to happen??? I am not talking about PACMAN winning the fight, I am talking about the way he won the fight !!! No disrespect to Cotto, because he is still one of my favorite top fighters, and I still think hes top fighter status....but Manny Pac gave him a whooping. I had no idea that Manny was gonna do what he did to Cotto. I expected Manny to win, but not in that fashion. He was dropping Cotto like he was just an opponent. Great Fight, I respect Cotto for not giving up, but he could of gotten hurt out there, the referee gave him enough chances to come back and made a smart call by stopping the fight !!! As much as we want to see a Mayweather - Pacquiao showdown, its not gonna happen in 2010. It would be too good to be true !!! Check out some pics below courtesy of HBO:

Quote of the Week

"Don't fight Manny Pacquiao."

- Andres Villacis

Dreday's Clip of the Week

Sick Song

Gotta give a shout out to Frank White for putting me on to this track !! Ne-Yo Kills It !!! Its called "I ALREADY KNOW"

Today is My Day !!!

Today is my Birthday Go Andre Go Andre its your birthday lol....If anybody wants to hang out tonight, ill be at a bar on 73rd & 1st Ave called STIR around 11pm, come thru and hang out for a while !!!

Not 10 years old anymore

LOL, What the Hell ??

LOL, what the hell kind of show sneaker is this lol? It looks like a Jordan Pump, WTF ?? Sick.

Manny vs. Miguel

This is going to be the biggest fight of the year!!!!! I am a huge boxing fan and I don't even know who will come out on top in this fight. I am pushing towards Pacquiao because he just doesnt seem to ever give up and I think he just has what it takes to win the fight. I like Cotto because unlike other fighters, he takes whoever wants to fight him. Cotto is also the bigger man, but PacMan looks comfortable at this weight. November 14th we will find out who is the better man, I choose Pac Man by decision. Whats your Guess???

Alicia Keys is Hot !!

Wow, Look at Alicia Keys in these pics.....She is beautiful, with these pics she seems just like a normal girl that you would meet in the street. Alicia give me a call lol. These pics are from her photo shoot in Arise Magazine. Swizz beats is a lucky guy, I would have dumped Moshonda too if I was him.

The Yankees Win, Theeeeeee Yankees Winnnnnnn !!!

The New York Yankees are the 2009 World Series Champions. I am not a hater, as long as a team from NY won, I am cool with it. But please believe it, believe it please, The NY METS will be the Champs next year 2010!!!!

Congrats to the NY Yankees !!

Dreday's Clip of the Week

Quote of the Week

“The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.”

- Tom Bodett

Guess what their favorite website was ???

Halloween Pics

These are some of the pics from the Halloween Bash Last weekend !!

Some of the Fellaz

Shocking Story

It's Me Luigi !!

You can view the rest on my facebook.

Quote of th Week

“If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right, you'll probably never do much of anything.”

- Win Borden

Dreday's Clip of the Week

Ballin !!!!!

I got this !!

Because as you can see my bro in the back does not get rebounds!!

(the other black jersey on the court)

Juniors Cheesecake

I used to wonder what was so special about Junior's cheesecake, and now I see what it is lol. Those are not chocolate sprinkles people, I repeat "Those are not chocolate sprinkles" lol. Somebody went in to Junior's and took some photos warning us about Junior's visitors. Damn, I wish they didnt take these photos. Now I am gonna have to pass on Junior's for a while. Damn. SMH.

Click here for the full story.

Damn, Even Pregnant......

...... She's Hot !!

I think I have a thing for Kourtney :)

Twitter *UPDATE*

I deleted the account already lol, Twitter is corney....Yeah I said it !!! WACK!!!